I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
