is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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