Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
