Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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