I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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