Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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