they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
