I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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