Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
