he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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