There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
