ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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