your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Randomize
