Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
