Three words: puerto rican gang bang
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
