Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
