SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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