1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
