Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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