My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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