I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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