I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
