i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
