well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
