He told me they were just razor bumps!
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
