Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
