and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
