oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
