Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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