I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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