Soap is not a condiment
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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