i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
