Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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