Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
