Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
