I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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