why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Houston, we have a squirter
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
