speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize