I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
