i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Randomize
