we made out on top of his cat.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
