Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
