do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
