And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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