if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
