are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
