dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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