Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
