I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
