I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
