Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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