thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
