I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
