My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
